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Stillwell's Observation: The higher a monkey climbs, the more you can see of his rear. (Sergio wants to know why anyone would want to climb, anyway.)
-- Gen. Joseph Stillwell, U.S. Army
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You may have noticed something new about the Follies recently. I've added, for the first time since the site launched in 2002, a series of banner and text ads sprinkled throughout the pages and on the home page.
 So why would I clutter up a nice, clean site with advertising, you ask? Well, mainly because I want to build and maintain a better site. Let me explain...
Note: Mr. Furless writes about Furless Territory and the relations between the feline staff and human caregivers, transcribes various articles by the staff, and generally serves up breakfast most mornings.
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Memorial Garden Installed
Mrs. Furless installed a new Serenity Garden in honor of the late Leonardo de Cattio, known to all of us in Furless Territory as Master Leo. Leo was laid to rest next to Sprite, his constant companion, in the shady spot at the end of the driveway where he spent much of his days waiting to say hello to neighbors and passers-by. Several neighbors have stopped by to leave flowers in his honor. One little girl made a cross from grape popsicle sticks. Leo was a neighborhood favorite. Mrs. Furless planted Swiss cheese philodendrons in Sprite’s honor and a flowering serenity vine for Leo.
Note: Spike is the editor of Feline Follies and keeps a watchful eye for anything new and exciting in the Territory. His talent is claws that stick to everything. |
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Since Sprite has passed to a better place, I have assumed the role of food editor. Unlike Sprite, I do not favor radical eating habits, like hairball diets. I much prefer a balanced lifestyle of three good meals a day with three good snacks. Food is meant to be enjoyed as well as nourish our bodies. A healthy lifestyle includes the enjoyment of food along with active bodies.
I like my crunchies mixed with a little canned food. I like to sample a few bites of what the humans are eating. I think the occasional dish of ice cream or spoonful of cream cheese never hurt anyone. as long as it is followed up by a good bug-swatting session on the Greens. (For humans, I recommend tennis or racquetball.)
Note: Pepita joined the Follies Staff after an incarceration at the local shelter, where she excelled at head-butting and swishing her long-furred tail. She steps into the food bowl as our resident critic of all things digestible.
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It is an unfortunate fact of aging that one loses the ability to reliably control one’s bodily functions. This may surprise you that a feline of royal breeding would be affected. Our superior genetic qualities should prevent this from happening. We are sorry to report, that isn’t true.
Although, we have held up quite well for a feline of advancing years, and we are still very lovely, we do occasionally have trouble making it to the litter box. We are forced to use a nearby throw rug or one of the couch cushions. This makes our human attendant, Mrs. Furless, extremely irritable. She actually has the audacity to become most seriously displeased with us!
Note: Cosmos is descended from the Royal Felines of the Pharaohs. She graciously provides advice to the Furless Family on matters of style. |
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Since we lasted chatted, the disagreeable Mrs. Furless has discontinued her renovations to Furless Territory. Thank goodness! If I had to spend one more day listening to a saw or drill, I would have been tempted to arrange for an unfortunate accident to happen to her. She now spends her days in her office, busying herself with some type of project. She is still neglecting my Furry-Poo (Mr. Furless), but I don’t mind. This just gives us more time together.
I have to wonder why a wonderful, amazing, loving man like Furry-Poo, who gives excellent back rubs, would choose such a dreadful person for a mate. What makes a man make such a poor decision in this important selection?
She hardly ever sits still. She makes the most obnoxious noises all day long with saws and vacuum monsters. I only see her come in his office once a day to give him a chin rub. And except for some hair on her head, she is bald! No soft furry arms or legs or belly. I am not one to speak ill of the less fortunate, but the woman is downright homely!
Note: Maaya joins the Follies Staff as our resident expert in training humans to the proper behavior. She will answer any questions a feline (or human) may have about the proper way to encourage position behaviour. |
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The Cease-fang Treaty with the Nation of Tree-Top Rodents and the United Canine Coalition has been in force for almost two years with no serious incidents. This proves that even long-term enemies can learn to co-exist peacefully. I credit Master Leo with bringing about this miracle of peace to feline territory. Without his teachings of the Zen of Felinity, I would never have converted to pacifism and learned to understand the true enemy — intolerance and hatred — lies within me.
Respectful and peaceful relations have continued with the dogs and squirrels, however, relaxing my daily patrols around the borders of Furless Territory has created another problem – the illegal immigration of chipmunks.
Note: Mistoffolese is a noble warrior, defender of home, hearth and all who live within, fighting off the canine terrorist menace. His primary mission is to eliminate all dogs from the family territory. |
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Well, it finally happened. The amount of spam we've been getting has finally gotten more annoying than a hairball — as much as 60 spam e-mails per day on all our accounts. We're really not interested in mail-order prescriptions or "Adobe Creative Suite at low, low, prices!" So, we turned off our e-mail accounts — all of them! We disabled comments on our articles, to avoid "comment spam." And we installed three different "spam traps" to catch messages from spammer who already have our addresses. Honored guests can still Make their Mark in the Guestbook, but there's a verification process that allows us to censor out inappropriate comments. Sorry we had to do this. Eventually, we'll figure out a way to re-activate e-mail to reduce spammers. If you really want to reach us, leave a message on te Guestbook, which we'll check every once in a while. — Mr. Furless
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 Some folks like cats. Other folks really like cats. Which are you? Here's you chance to compare your own devotion to felinity. Check out our new feature, You Know You Are A Cat Person... to see how other feline fanciers describe their addiction to this marvelous creature. We bet you find more than one reason you can agree with! We're up to 100 ways to know you're a cat person, so check it out — and be sure to SEND US your own reasons to be added to the list.
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TEXTBOOK ANSWER — Cats are a bundle of instincts and are carnivores to boot. They will play with anything that moves because they are hunters. Never mind that the prey is a nutritionless, tasteless cat toy, they do what comes naturally.
FOLLIES ANSWER — Buddy says: I never play with cat toys, except ticklers, which are not a cat toy, but an essential entertainment device. The reason I chase birds is simply because I want to meet them and change MySpace.com addresses. How can I be Everybody's Buddy if I don't make the effort to meet everybody?
Note: Get "textbook" answer and the real answer from Follies Staffers on your most burning questions about felines. Click HERE to see all the questions. |
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 You may think our legal system is fair and balanced, at least until you read what kind of laws are being passed by communities around the country and the globe. The Follies Staff takes offense at some of these very odd laws, but others, like the one where dog catchers are prohibited from bothering cats, gain their approval. Check out these laws HERE.
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Just click on the image of the poster to view a larger size, about 7" x 10" in your browser. Hit the "Print" button in your browser to get your very own, full-color portrait of the staffers dressed in their Sunday best. It's sure to be worth bunches of money someday.
Kid-Friendly Site certification.